Now, like I said in an entry not too long ago I wished I had kept a diary from when I was younger, just so I can see how much I've changed because I look back and I don't remember a lot. I'm sure I've even changed within the last few months, I mean, I liked Nsync not even a year ago and now I won't even listen to a CD (except occasionally to relive memories)...but I don't have any real grasp on what I was like. I've always been a tom-boy, I can say that much, I mean I had a choice at my old school to wear a skirt or pants and I ALWAYS wore pants, I didn't care how hot it was, I was in the uniform pants. I've always liked video games and the computer, I started learning how to use the computer when I was 4 and got better and better and now I'm making layouts for people (look at TheSpatalian's and Blo0dytearsz's diary, I made those) as well as running quite a few websites. As for maturity, I can remember being the only one not really offended by our 6th grade sex-ed class, I pretended to play along with the "ewww"'s because then I'd be the only one who didn't really care and I was still trying to make friends, so I went along with being grossed out. I mean, some of the stuff we did in that class would bother me now, like this cartoon video we watched on puberty that was a little too much. But I was the only one who didn't totally freak or burst out laughing when the teacher said "penis". Or at least, I think I was, maybe other people were playing along with it too. I don't even know why I'm writing this...I guess I wanted to reflect on my life. Well, let's see, my first boyfriend...no, not Daniel...Zach, short for Zachariah, the first guy I kissed that was not family, it wasn't a big, tongue kiss but he was still my first kiss. Not a very good relationship, I was 12 he was 11, or something like that. Anyway, I met him at camp and he liked me and I liked hanging out with him, but it was never really anymore than a friendship, I mean he wanted it to be more, not sexual, just like a real kiss, but I didn't want to do that then. We saw each other about 3 times in a year, that was 7th grade. Then we just stopped talking. But let's go back to...second grade, with my horrible teacher and the start of my friendship with my best friend (at the time) Becky. Becky and I had been friends...6 years, then I just stopped talking to her, I never called, she never called and I don't see her online. I haven't talked to her since sometime in 7th grade, it makes me kind of sad cause we were so close but new people came along and then I moved and yeah, I haven't talked to her. Anyway, back to 2nd grade, my evil teacher Mrs. Humphrey...I hated her so much. The only thing I really remember from 2nd grade was putting a rubber iguana (which I still have, and I STILL want a real on) on her chair, thinking she would see it, but she didn't and instead sat on it, she still screamed and it was still funny. There was also the time I used Tylenol as "food" for my stuffed animal that I brought in and I got in big trouble for that, I didn't know any better then :P I also had a crush on Tim in 4th grade, not much of anything really, I just thought he was...well, I don't even remember. So, with that said, 3rd grade and Mrs. Johnston, one of the best teacher's I had at Shady Grove. That year I was still friends with Becky, with the addition of Marie...and I think Cindy. There was also Veronica, Erica and Courtney (sisters) but they didn't go to school with me and moved away after about 3 years. Anyway, back to 3rd grade. Mrs. Johnston had some of the coolest projects, was really nice and I just had so much fun in that class. I don't remember much exactly but she is defiantly one of my more liked teachers. Then there was 4th grade, Mr. Volp, the rainforest project, Cindy, Sarah and Danielle. I was friends with Danielle and Cindy before 4th grade but I think I became better friends with them in 4th grade, I still keep in contact with all of them. But, the one defining moment of 4th grade was the rainforest project. Each group (I was paired with Cindy) was given something to research and we'd make a big diorama thing to add to the walkthrough rainforest built in the classroom. We had so much fun doing that project. And Jon, the tape-boy, with all the rolls of tape up his arm...I miss Shady Grove, I left the next year for Springside, the all girls, private school I went to for the next 4 years. So, 5th grade, I knew one girl, Robyn, from orientation and we hung out all year. I still liked Nsync then (I got into them the spring of 4th grade) and I had a locker filled with posters. We had nice, huge lockers, almost every kid in my grade could actually climb into the locker it was so big and some people could still fit by 8th grade. Anyway, it was a somewhat rough-year, I didn't really have any friends, it was really only Robyn for most of the year. She was black, not like it matters, but by 7th grade she had branched off with the other black girls in our grade and even though we're still friends we went our separate ways after I met Karen later on in 5th grade. I went with her to Eaglesmere a couple of days before 6th grade and a couple of days after I got my braces on. 6th grade was nothing special, I don't remember a lot from it. I mostly hung out with Karen, Amila, Sara-Jane and Robyn. Even though everyone knew my name by then and I almost knew everyone, I never made a lot of close friends at that school, I was kind of an outcast. I mean, everyone was nice and I talked to most of them, but I would only consider 2 or 3 real friends. In the 4 years I was there I always felt like I shouldn't have been there, I was never really happy. But, anyway, we went to Echo Hill for the first time in 6th grade. A 3 day school trip to this outdoor "school". It was fun, even with the crappy tents and freezing temperatures WITH rain. Most of the people didn't like it, I, personally enjoyed it, but then again I like stuff like that. So, moving onto 7th grade. Our first dance. It sucked. We had it at CHA, I danced with this one boy, really short, it was a forced thing, he came over and goes "any of you want to dance with me?" I was standing with Amila and Sara-Jane who both pushed me to go dance with him, so I did, we talked a little, I mentioned how I wanted to play drums and he said he knew how and blah blah blah...yeah, the rest of the dance sucked, mostly because, I don't like dancing. 7th grade was also the May Pole dance, practicing for weeks how to dance around a pole holding a ribbon and prancing like retards in skirts. How I HATED that...I was so happy to get that over with. Anyway, the second Echo Hill trip happened this year as well, in December. We were supposed to go in September but something happened. It was cold so we got to stay in the cabins that year and it was A LOT nicer. I had a lot of fun on that trip too. Other highlight of 7th grade...hmmm...I can't really think of any. I still liked Nsync then btw...now, moving onto 8th grade. The last year where I would come to school to see Nsync pictures in my locker. The graduating year at Springside. We made videos on the computer in Computer class and got to take a copy of everyone's movies at the end of the year, I guess that was nice seeing as I'm not really gonna see most of the people again. In 7th grade it was mentioned quite a few times that we were moving before 8th grade, it never happened...and people were surprised to see me there for 8th grade, but I completed that year. And I was glad I didn't miss the sailing trip, which was awesome and I had so much fun on that. I have an entry about it earlier so I won't go into details. But that was a defiantly one of the better parts of 8th grade. Then it was time for my last week in Pennsylvania. We left in June and went to Hampstead, NC, where I'm writing this now. School started in August and I had a short summer seeing as I wasn't on the southern school times...but this was my first year of highschool...where I am now. Compared to Springside this school is so much better, maybe it's lack of uniforms, having boys in my classes after 4 years of being surrounded by girls, or maybe just because within the first 2 weeks I already had a group of friends I felt closer to in such a short amount of time compared to what I had had before. Now, I'm not saying I'm not still close to Karen or Cindy or Sarah...but I feel that the people I met this year, Miranda and Lacey and even the clingy-mold Joey, I feel closer to. Now you all know what happened with guys...there was Daniel and now Phillip, but what I don't think I mentioned was this...Miranda was going out with Phillip after Daniel and I had been together for a month, I didn't know why but I was jealous of Miranda. I got Phillip's screen name for her and talked to him occasionally. Then, I would say it was purely physical attraction and after my break-up with Daniel I would have never expected him to be my next boyfriend...but he was and we're getting along incredibly well...and it probably would have never happened if he hadn't scared the shit out me on my way to Science class...so, yeah, that's my life up until now. I don't know how much I've changed, it doesn't seem like a lot, besides music tastes. I mean 8th grade was my first introduction to Criss Angel and now a year later that spawned into an obsession with AFI since Davey resembled Criss and a fellow Loyal liked AFI...and then Nsync faded out and now I have Manson, Disturbed, Linkin Park and Tiger Army in my CD player, I've learned a lesson about boyfriends and broken a few rules to do what I want, I had never done anything against what my parents said until recently...so I guess I’m getting some rebel in me. Then there was my mix up with religion...I went atheist for a while there, considered Satanism (really, it looks quite rational) but something brought me to terms with Christianity, I don't know if I’ll ever believe in it 100%, I don't like some of the customs but I believe in God. Um, I don't even know what I'm really getting at here...um, yeah, this was a crazy long post, but oh well. I got a chance to reflect on me and relive some memories. I'm glad of whatever changes I may have gone through because I'm quite happy with how my life is going, and I'm hoping the next 3 and a half years of High School will continue to be as good as it has been.